If they hadn't made me go...and showed me how I reallySHOULD live... I didn't mean that. They did this to me, Beth. They MADEme go!" Did they, Rooney? Did they MAKE you go, or did you think it would becool to try?"Paul sighed. "I get it. You're right. I guess I owe them an apology." I don't know... they both adore you, you know. They're just worriedabout you. An apology probably isn't necessary."He smiled. "I know. I'm such an ass." I love you, too, Rooney. You know, last night, I thought you were goingto kill yourself and that really scared me and made me cry. You know whyI cried."He laid his head on her shoulder and smiled. "Because you'd miss me?"She put her arm around his shoulders and gave him a shake. It had been along, emotional and emotionally intimate night and Beth felt closer toPaul, right now, than she did to her own boyfriend. It was different,though. It was like he was her little brother. No, her little... no. Shewouldn't go there unless he did."I truly would, you. I wouldn't say I was exactly a wallflower, but I was used to being 'the brain' in school, until I got to Cal Tech. There I was either 'one of the brains', or 'the brain with the great ass', depending on who you talked to. Because I finally could, I took advantage of that ass and got myself some more experience. The guys who used the great ass modifier became tutors, though not all of them had the brains to realize their true roles. None of them even had the sense to feel objectified and cheapened by my use of them. Thank God that period in my life was over!I was glad I had the experience I did when I met Rob. It allowed me to hold back and wait for something beyond the physical to happen, and amazingly, it did. Jocelin had confided in me a willingness to share him, since he seemed to be interested in us both, and while a part of me was at least curious about where that might have gone, I'm glad I acted as I did. Don't tell him, but Rob Young flips my switch in bed as much as he does.
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