You pays your nickel and you takes your chances. Sure, she’d yelled at me before, about this or that, but not like she was yelling at me this time.“I’ll work extra hard to heal,” I offered. It sounded better in my head than it did out there in actual spoken words.“Then why haven’t you already worked extra hard to heal?“ she shouted.“I’m sorry!” I yelled back. “I was running, and thinking about us, and I lost track of what I was doing. I won’t do it again!”Now that was only partly true. I was running, and I did think about Val during part of that run, but I didn’t lose myself in reflections on my lovely wife, like it sort of sounded, when I said it. And the “I won’t do it again,” part could be construed to mean I didn’t plan on thinking about her to distraction anymore. Of course that’s not what I meant at all. All I was trying to do was get her off my back.There was this long silence, and then a click.Valerie had never hung up on me before.I admit, I panicked a little bit.I called. ? When sleeping, she seemed to beendlessly tormented by her past and the blurred association between that helland this one.? There was no escape fromthis, even in her dreams.? She began tosoftly cry for what seemed like the thousandth time.? She was desperate for something, anything, tochange.? She had battled this desperationover and over, sometimes screaming and thrashing against her bonds until hervoice went hoarse, but mostly just crying, feeling overcome withhopelessness.? Sheclung to the memory of that one gentle encounter with her captor.? It had only been a drink of water and asingle soft, chaste kiss.? But it hadbeen the only sign of kindness she?d felt in this place.? It gave her hope.? Hope that he might return and perhaps evenspeak to her.? She allowed herselffantasies of having long conversations with this faceless man.? Of him even removing her blindfold andallowing her to look around, to see his face. Thesefantasies were tempered, though, by her fear that she had.
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