Do they just give you a bra and say, “Here, fill this out?”I can’t understand why women are OK that JC Penny has an older women’s clothing line named, “Sag Harbor.”My therapist said that my narcissism causes me to misread social situations. I’m pretty sure she was hitting on me.My 60 year kindergarten reunion is coming up soon and I’m worried about the 175 pounds I’ve gained since then.Denny’s has a slogan, “If it’s your birthday, the meal is on us.” If you’re in Denny’s and it’s your birthday, your life sucks!The pharmacist asked me my birth date again today. I’m pretty sure she’s going to get me something.The location of your mailbox shows you how far away from your house you can go in a robe before you start looking like a mental patient.I think it’s pretty cool how Chinese people made a language entirely out of tattoos.Money can’t buy happiness, but it keeps the kids in touch!Now, go have a nice day, or whichever kind of day you want.Understanding Engineers #1Two engineering. "Well... I'm here, you're here. What doyou want to do?"How about we do it? I have some new stuff I want to show you!" Ashleyexclaims."Mmmmm, sounds interesting..." But you don't appear to be ready yet. Let me help you out." Huh?"Ashley pulls a duffel bag out of thin air, then reaches into it andpulls out a few things."Here, put on this thong, and I'll help apply your makeup." Thong? But... I will look bad in it." Put it on, bitch! You're mine now!" she shouts, followed by a giggle."Hehe..."Casper strips down and puts on the thong."Good boy. Now, you know how to put on earrings right?" I--" Sure you do. Put 'em on. And don't get in my way while I put mascara onyou."Casper struggles with the earrings, eventually succeeding. He barelymisses Ashley's arms a couple times."You'll learn to like this. Now, these bracelets are for you. I don'tknow what style or color you like your bracelets, so I put a spell onthem so that they change to your liking."A spell?" That's right honey. I'm a witch..
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