And sometimes she was that little girl who hid behind her mother peeking out at the stranger. She was susceptible to being overly self-conscious, so he indulged her whims. To him she was someone who would always love him, accept the imperfect him, understand the confused him, even when he was the wrong him, because that was the only version she knew how to be. “You’re my favorite,” he said offhand. “Favorite?” “Yeah,” he stammered. “My favorite lips to kiss. My favorite name to see appear on my cell phone. My favorite way to spend an afternoon, you know, my favorite.” “You’re my favorite too,” she stared down at her bare feet. She stood against the wall, the brick wall in her loft apartment that she had painted in fuzzy duck yellow, princess pink and majesty purple. She was injured, mentally and emotionally, literally and metaphorically. Standing against the wall made her feel safe and happy. She knew she wouldn’t falter as long as she leaned up against her wall of colors. Here,. “Yes, I do.”“What if I said… one last time, for old’s time’s sake? One last fuck.”“Okay. Cool. Why one last time?” I said.“I’ll tell you tomorrow,” She said, biting her lip. “I miss you” I texted the next day with the most charm that I had. She texted back: “Horny?” Then a selfie of her with the “duck face”. I texted back subsequently: “Wanna find out?” With a picture of my sweats from the front. She later came to get me in her slightly used car that afternoon.“Where we going?” I said.“To my place. My son hasn’t gotten out of school yet.”“Oh…” I replied.“Chad, you know the thing I said I was going to tell you today?”“Yeah,” I said.A few seconds later, the three words escaped from her lips that brings me to mourn:“I'm getting married.”“Congrats,” I said with manners. “When’s the wedding?”“Next year.”I had a myriad of emotions running through my head. Confusion, anger, lust, jealousy. I mentally prepared to delete her number. However, I knew this much: Fuck love and everything that.
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