She'd then said that if I was that proud about borrowing fromher, I could pay her interest on the loan if it made me feel better. But Ihad insisted on a mortgage from a bank. Job gone now and the housing market dead that was where my problems lay. Ihad a massive loan on a very expensive fashionable-London property worth lessthan the money outstanding. I had no job and a gigantic loan to repay. I'd swallowed pride. I'd phoned Jackie and asked her point blank if she couldloan me $250,000. Of course I reminded her of how she had always offered moneyand apologised that I had been so proud and independent before, adding thatI was desperate, as she well knew, else I would never have swallowed prideto phone her I left all this in a voicemail message. Jackie was not in her office. An hour later, I'd had a phone call from Jackie's secretary. ?Jackie saysto see your email?, said the girl's voice. And that was where it all began. Pleased that Jackie had seen fit not to discussmy predicament. Knowing my parents were still out ploughing it didn’t bother me that I probably looked flustered and dishevelled even though I had taken every precaution to appear as if I had simply had my weekly French lesson - on the off chance that one of my folks had come back home early. My legs were weak but I nonetheless bounded up the stairs. I needed time to myself in order to digest what had just happened but more pressing was the urge to examine myself in front of the mirror to see whether I had physically changed. Sure as hell my mind had but I needed, for some bizarre reason, to make the comparison. Had my parents known that I had left the house without a bra they would have hit the roof and, worse still, suspicion would have fallen on Jamie. They would have thought he was just a dirty middle-aged man looking for some fresh stuff and I too would never have been able to show my face at home again. Reality is he is nothing of the sort. What I do know though is that I’m in love with him.
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