“I admit that beautiful women are a complete weakness of mine. We all have them, a vice. Mine is beauty. I'm sorry if I upset you, truly. I was just being playful.”I looked in his eyes and could see he meant the apology. “Bruce your a nice guy, but I very taken and I'm not looking for any outside play. But I also know you were trying to get me into bed by seducing me. That's not going to happen.” He didn't reply right away and placed both our orders.“You're a treasure Sachiko. You have incredible beauty, sexuality, and a sharp mind and a clever wit. You the type who can do anything she puts her mind to. I admit I was trying to seduce you, like I said beauty is my vice. But you are a very different kind of woman. I'm trying to figure it out but whatever it is I'm happy for you and Peter. By the way, I would appreciate it if you actually told him I did this. If he is going to be upset I would like to get it out of the way sooner than later.” I stared at him surprised.He said “What? Do. [Scene change. From the chest up we see a balding, middle-aged white NEBBISHY MAN sporting glasses, a mustache, and a sweater. He addresses the camera.]Nebbishy Man: I tried everything to save my marriage. I lost weight, got a better job, bought her gifts, took those “get a personality” classes—everything. I even agreed to an open marriage. For her, not me. Nothing worked. She was still gonna divorce me. I was out of options.[Camera pans back. NEBBISHY MAN is sitting in a chair. Kneeling next to him is a LOVELY WOMAN with long black hair in a collar, corset, and stockings. Before her is a bowl of silver and beige fluid.]Nebbishy Man: But then I contacted LoveLock. In two days’ time, they’d saved our marriage! [pets LOVELY WOMAN’s head] Right, dear?Lovely Woman [adoringly]: Yes, Sir. LoveLock saved us. May Bitchsnacks eat, now?Nebbishy Man: Of course, Bitchsnacks. Eat up.[BITCHSNACKS laps from the bowl. NEBBISHY MAN places his hand at her rear. Then come squishy sounds. BITCHSNACKS.
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