I really fell for you. It took a long time to get over you. Jazz," my voice cracked a little as I said her name, "helped me in so many ways. She was quite a woman. I miss her so much." Lauren increased her hand pressure on my arm before pulling back."So how did everything at the church happen, Lauren? I can't believe you had anything to do with that." I guess I did and I didn't. Please believe me, I had no idea he was going to do anything like that. I didn't even know he had a gun. But all this happened because of me. It's all my fault. I'm so sorry." She cried, and I could tell she was blaming herself, even though she didn't have a violent bone in her body."William and I argued constantly, especially after the test results. He kept demanding to know who the father was, but I wouldn't tell him. I wanted to call you and tell you, but just couldn't bring myself to do it. After I saw your marriage announcement in the newspaper I wrote you a letter. I looked you up online and found your. .. what does it feel like?" she asked.Smiling I said, "I can't really explain the physical feelings, but it is more about surrendering your body to someone. Bending over and letting someone sodomize you is terribly naughty, so it's very exciting to do it. You're also giving the other person control of you, letting them take your most private things." Have you... you know... used a... dildo?" she whispered the last word, bright red in the face.I giggled and said, "You mean on someone else?"She nodded quickly, not really meeting my eye, so I said, "You probably mean a strap-on one, and yes. And had them used on me."That got a giggle, though she couldn't turn any more red. We finished watching TV, but she stopped to hug me and said, "Thanks mom," before going up to bed.I called Kathy before bed and asked what she was doing tomorrow. When she said nothing, I asked if she needed a deep massage, drawing a laugh and quick yes from her. Looked like I was going to be using a strap-on.
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