Did it mean that I was going to punish her for her duplicity? Absolutely! Eventually -- probably in relatively short order -- my anger would dissipate -- but our relationship would never be the same. Since it wasn't going to be in any case, both Jack and I saw this as an opportunity to adjust Vera's behavior while I was prepared to be vigilant and exacting in the control of it -- something I really hadn't been prepared for before. The total erosion of her confidence would help with this, too -- she was now well aware that she was on thin ice.Before leaving, I went over preparations with Vera again, standing over her naked, kneeling form holding the riding crop and gently tapping her on the shoulder with it to keep her ever-mindful of the threat. Jack's newest concubines would assist in preparations, as Beth and Frieda had been instructed to go to work more or less as usual; while there was plenty to do, there was also more than adequate support on hand. Neither of my daughters was. I’d go to his office, we’d have wine. He always had wine ready. He came on to me. I still can’t believe I put myself in that position, but I responded to it, let it happen. I remember nodding out a couple times, would wake up on the couch in his office. He must have given me something. He was very anti-birth control too, fanatically so. He asked me to bring my birth control pills with me once. He washed them down the drain, said I didn’t need them. I was shocked. He said, ‘It’s God’s will, throw away the pill’.” Can you believe that?”Lonnie shook his head. “I’m sorry you had to go through that. At least it’s over now, and you can heal, recover.”“Yeah. That explains why the church is paying me a lot of money. They don’t want me to sue them.”“Really?“Yep.”“Well, there you go. So stop beating yourself up. Think of positive things. Like this house here, it’s a nice place to live in.”“I’m lucky in that way, yes. This guesthouse is rarely used, so my parents said I could move in. Not easy.
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