Keeping it in my mouth, I went into the bathroom, spitting it in the toilet. Back in the kitchen, I continued to work on my soup. Jill put her hand back on my leg.Mary was emptying out the grocery bags while all this was going on, occasionally asking Jill where she wanted something. She came over to the table when all the bags were emptied."Anything else I can do?" Would you get the humidifier for me?"Mary went down the hall and soon came back with the box. She placed it on the table and held it still while Jill lifted out the unit. Jill looked proud of her humidifier.I'd never seen anything like this contraption of hers. For some reason, my immediate thought was of a potty seat, used to train little kids. The exterior was all plastic. It stood a foot and a half tall with a gray base and an ivory top. Looking down from the top, it was shaped like a triangle, with rounded edges. The front had a circular opening, maybe three inches across, for the water. The majority of the top. I began kissing her. She was still startled, but at least she was smiling at me.“Hi, you gorgeous piece of womanhood. How’s it hanging?”Slap. “You scared the crap right out of me Bob, you goof! How the hell did you get here?”“Well, it seems that Charlie has... “Oh, God does that hurt! My gut feels like I haven’t taken a dump in a month! Maybe Charlie was right about that confidentiality shit. Great, now what the hell am I going to do? Well you know what they say, if you can’t dazzle ‘em with brilliance, then you’ve got to baffle ‘em with bullshit! Let’s see if she buys this.“Bob, are you all right?” Melody could obviously tell I was hurting.“Yeah baby, I just about swallowed my big toe. I wish I could tell you exactly how I got here but I’m afraid it would lead to me being doubled over in pain and I’m liable to load my drawers with shit.”Melody was laughing, “Charlie always said you were sometimes full of shit, Bob. So what’s new? I take it you’re not gonna tell me how you got here?”I.
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