There were a few comforts he’d stuck to, all those years: his collection of poetry, string quartets, a dram before bed and the barmaid at the Rose and Crown. She had no idea that he enjoyed her presence, but whenever he went to the pub he would sit on a narrow bench halfway across the public bar and look at her from time to time. She was called Polly – he didn’t know her family name – and she was a buxom woman with a friendly smile and something in her face that always touched him deeply. A friend of his once asked him why on earth he went to the Rose and Crown? It wasn’t particularly fashionable, and it was a few miles from the village – the village pub had a very good name. ‘Yes,’ he had said, ‘but at the Rose and Crown the barmaid hands out daydreams free with the beer.’ His friend had come along one day to find out what he meant, but he only saw an indifferent woman that could not elicit any enthusiasm in him. ‘Oh well,’ he had said. ‘The beer’s quite good anyway.’ Joe didn’t. I wanted to get away from everythingthat reminded me of you. I had fallen for someone that I could neverhave, how fucking sad is that?"She was looking for a tissue to wipe her eyes and I gave her one I had inmy pocket."See, that's what I mean, you are such a gentleman. When I got your emailI couldn't believe it. I had to sit down for a long time to think. Did Ireally want to see you again? I know it hadn't been your fault really butI wasn't sure that awakening all those memories would do me any good. Italked all night with Areeya. I had never told her about you before andshe had to listen all night to me running on about how great you wereblah, blah, blah. She is so sweet; she just listened and finally told me,"You must do what your heart wants."Alex had stopped crying but looked as if she could start again anytime."I finally decided that what my heart wanted was to see you again. To seeif I had the same feelings for you or if in the years since things hadchanged. When you walked.
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