‘Big enough for a six-some!’ I naughtily thought to myself. I turned on the nozzle and waited for the hot water before stepping in. Once inside, with the glass fogging up, I stepped under the water. ‘Mmmmm,’ I said to myself, ‘just right.’ I tilted my head back and began to let the water soak my long light-brown hair. Before I could grab the shampoo, I heard the shower door open and you stood before me. ‘Well, good morning Jake,’ I said. I thought to myself how much I love the way he looks. He stands a little over 5′ 10,’ with muscular arms and nice broad shoulders.. He has very short brownish blond hair and deep blue eyes that I could stare into forever. Jake moved toward me with a smile on his face. He pulled me in tightly against himself. Then he leaned his head toward mine and we stayed locked in a kiss for what seemed like an eternity. Breaking our kiss, Jake said, ‘Good morning, Addison. How is my fiancé this fine morning?’ I smiled back at, ‘Happy, now that you are here.’. The hair where I need it is missing.I need to put makeup and look pretty, not like someone whois trying to pass. And if I try to pass I might get beat upby someone who believes he is a ?real? man. Or I might justbe lucky enough just to get a snide remark. I need to bewith woman as a woman, not a freak. And if I need to go tothe restroom in a public place it is with a sister or agirlfriend. I need to be with a man as his woman and knowthat he is or will be the father of my babies.I feel that hurt and anger. It is because I was born withthat genetic defect that said I should be playing with gunsand trucks instead of dolls and jewelry. Part of me neededto rebel and wear that dress but part of me said not tohurt anyone else so be what I appear to be even though thatgenetic defect eventually changed me in ways that wasdifferent from what I would have liked my body to change.I also feel the hurt and anger of others. Some of usconstantly lash out way out of proportion to the situation.Some.
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