”“Excuse me? What did you say?”“Penis Van Lesbian”“You CAN’T have a name like THAT in show business.” The agent replied.“Penis Van Lesbian is a long respected name where I come from, and I will NOT change it!” As he stormed out the door in a huff.The agent soon forgot the would be actor and went on about his business. 20 years later, he recieved an envelope in the mail, containing $10,000 and a note...The note said,“Dear Sir,A long time ago you gave me some advice, and to my shame I walked out on you. I soon learned that you were right, and I changed my name and actually became fairly successful.I regret not taking your advice when offered. Since it worked well enough, I have enclosed what I believe would have been your commission.Sincerely,Wait for it...Dick Van DykeThree Men were waiting to go to heaven. St Peter was at the gate and said, “However good you were to your wife that is the vehicle you will get in heaven.”The first guy comes up to the gate and says, “I never, ever. Though as ever in France, it being between the hours of twelve and two, everywhere else was shut or appeared to be. We settled down in a place called the Ch'ti bar which of course the kids immediately and to Paula's embarrassment called the shitty bar. Lunch though was superb and like most French things was prolonged and relaxed."What were you up to last night?" Paula asked after the kids went off to look at the internet café."Nothing," I grinned."She was a bit noisy for nothing," Paula remarked."Aah... ," she had me, bang to rights."It's OK." Paula smiled, "You at least didn't wake the kids or frighten the donkeys." Sorry," I said. "It wasn't planned." Who was it?" she enquired."Jan," I said."You're kidding! Oh you rogue, she's a married woman!" Paula squeaked."Yes, but one who was very pissed off with her hubby and a bit neglected. Besides what he doesn't know won't hurt him," I hit back."True," she mused, "But you'd better hope for her sake he never does." That's for her to keep,".
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