But I spent more time turning down dates from my colleagues than I did waiting tables. That’s when I realised that I attract South Asians like a Dog would attracts fleas. It was not just the restaurant, it was uni. They chase me all over the campus. I’m not kidding, after lecture there will be a queue, ten deep, offering me proposals and questions. What are you? Where are you from? Please meet my parents. Will you marry me..? Fuck sake, it’s endless. They’re obsessed with me. They treat me like some kind of deity, so I started calling them pilgrims.The problem is, technically I’m one of them. I’m mixed race, half Bahraini, yes I’m as hot as the desert and half English – hence the foul mouth. I dress in Western clothes and possess a liberal attitude. The whole package drives my South Asian classmates mad.It’s not that I have a particular problem with my South Asian pilgrims either, they’re usually good looking, kind hearted men, who are for the most part very clever. But they want to. The private hospital where no questions were asked, no reports were written and where the staff members who looked at me with pity in their eyes, soon found themselves without a job. Such were the ways of the very rich. Some part of me was grateful for the way that my father-in-law stepped in and told his son to ‘not leave visible marks in the future’ with the added ‘she’s no good to us without her looks’ comment. But the way he said it, standing in my room at the hospital, not caring if I heard him made me realize that he had known about the rough and violent nature of son. It also made me realize that I could never expect any help from that side of the family, because in their eyes I was just another bought item, something my husband could use as he pleased, just as long as he did it discreetly and kept the family name clean from scandal. I don’t think that my mother and father believed in the falling-down-the-stairs-story, but they were never allowed to speak to me alone and after.
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