I'm not sure if ... I ... I don't think I can carry on doing that anymore.Vyera is taking over. It feels like the tide coming in. Vyera is swamping me, covering every surface, seeping into every corner. There is less and less space for Jenny; less and less time for Jenny. It's stopped being Jenny pretending to be Vyera. It's more like there's Vyera and this other person sometimes, who is Jenny. How long before I am Vyera all the time? Sometimes I look at Jenny as if she is a different person. I see, through Jenny, her husband; a man called Joe. He is ever so far away now. When I was Jenny ... When there was a Jenny, the party was just the sort of evening I enjoyed - she enjoyed - perhaps especially if there were people she did not know. New people to find out about, new ideas, new thoughts. This time, I felt completely out of place; worried that I might say the wrong thing; worried that saying the wrong thing might lead to punishment. Not feeling myself? Not being myself, anymore.Then. The priests would not allow any woman to strike it, because they thought that such an action would pollute and dull the metal, as well as bring calamity upon them.When a certain pretty woman who lived in Kyoto heard this, she grew extremely inquisitive, and at last, unable to restrain her curiosity, she said: "I will go and see this wonderful bell of Miidera. I will make it send forth a soft note, and in its shining surface, bigger and brighter than a thousand mirrors, I will paint and powder my face and dress my hair."At length this vain and irreverent woman reached the belfry in which the great bell was suspended, at a time when all were absorbed in their sacred duties. She looked into the gleaming bell and saw her pretty eyes, flushed cheeks, and laughing dimples. Presently she stretched forth her little fingers, lightly touched the shining metal, and prayed that she might have as great and splendid a mirror for her own. When the bell felt this woman's fingers, the bronze that she.
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