The conference was at his house. You two went on to the Bull and Bush for a drink. From there you will ring your friend James on your mobile. He will have his speakerphone switched on. Andy and I will be talking in the background. James will tell you about the email Valentine. You will be surprised and annoyed. You will tell me. I will shout at James. Andy will laugh at our embarrassment and come on the phone to confirm that you have been with him and that I have come to collect you.’ I sat still on the back seat, stunned. Heather had worked fast. ‘What can I say, Heather?’ I asked. ‘Thank you would be nice.’ ‘Thank you Heather.’ ‘And you won’t do it again?’ ‘I won’t do it again.’ ‘And the next Valentine will be a real card in an envelope that you will put into my hand.’ ‘Yes, Heather, if that’s what you want.’ ‘I do. I don’t want the whole company knowing what you think of my breasts.’ ‘Sorry?’ ‘I liked what you said but…’ ‘You prefer it in private?’ ‘Behind closed doors, in bed,. Until then, she had all the usual monthly bills looming over her, and she could only take a couple weeks off work—unpaid—without losing her bullshit university job. She needed to get this thing done quick and dirty. In and fucking out, no futzing around. What had happened was she found an old diary in a library archive nobody had got around to sifting through, until Margie came along. It was in code, but not a tough one to work out. The writer had worked for a crime boss with Nazi connections. He made himself a secret room under a ruined windmill where he stashed a bunch of paintings they’d stolen that he stole off them. Big name stuff. Lost Da Vinci’s and Van Gogh’s. Then the Nazis found out about this and paid the guy that wrote the diary to kill his boss, which he had, cheerfully. The war ended and the guy went to America for a fresh start. He wrote his diary in the late fifties, confessing with some relish all the dreadful shit he’d done in his life. His only regret was that he’d.
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