" No argument here," I said."Your way of breaking through the glass ceiling was a little drastic,though." Uhura!" It's okay, Janice," I said, "I have to expect curiosity about mybody-jacking of Jim Kirk." What did it feel like, being a man?" asked Uhura."I wish I could tell you," I said, "but I have no memory of what itfeels like to have a male body at all. And that's probably for thebest. When I recorded all my memories to create this new, sanerpersonality that was one of the things I completely edited out. Iwas never gender-dysphoric in the traditional sense, never thoughtI was a man trapped in a woman's body, but I had come to despisebeing a woman because of how I felt it was holding me back. That sortof self-hate is a terrible thing. I was so extremely ambitious thathaving that ambition thwarted basically drove me mad. In othersambition can be a good thing but it was clearly dangerous anddestructive in me, so it had to go too. I needed to reconnect with myfemininity, to rediscover. Help yourself.” “Maybe later. Thanks.” After making her coffee, Elaine returned to her room. An hour later Chelsea yelled out that dinner was ready and they sat down to eat. Conversation around the table centred on school and lecturers and how boring it all became as the end of term neared. Kendra was trying to convince Chelsea to try out for the cheerleading squad next semester, but Chelsea had never wanted to associate ‘with those airheads’. Elaine thought Chelsea probably would have made it. She was blonde and tanned and moved like a cat. She could dance too. Chelsea wouldn’t be moved. “I so don’t think so.” “Think of the parties!” Kendra implored, as if it would make a difference. “And the outfits!” Elaine teased. Chelsea rolled her eyes. “Anyway, Elaine would make the squad before I did.” Elaine’s mouth gaped. “I would not.” “Sure you would. So could Kendra, but she’s too pushy.” All Elaine could do was blush. “My ass is way too big,”.
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