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I'd had to come here millennia ago, after the mortals stopped believing in the gods. They'd run all my followers off, and while they were loyal, they were too few to keep me around. I couldn't sustain myself on their world anymore. Luckily, Aphrodite offered to shack up...er, I mean, put me up...for a few millennia, until I could get back on my hooves. That's right, hooves. In case you hadn't guessed, I'm Pan. You know, the god of wine, women, and song, though not necessarily in that order. And men, too.For the record, ambrosia lets you age REALLY well. I'd tell you to try it, but we have enough immortals crowded in Olympus right now. Seriously, the place is so packed, we're scrunched in like a Picasso painting. Of course, I'm used to more open surroundings, so it's probably the claustrophobia talking. But, getting back to me. My fur's still as brown and thick as ever. I'm still horned and horny, with a cute little tail and those nibble-able furry ears oh-so-pointy. Oh, yeah, and I. I came lookin for some pussy." He laughed and told me there was a place down the way where girls would pimp themselves out; some good lookin hoes too.I was like, Fuck it, where do I go?He said, "Let me jump in. I'll take you there and we can both get what we want."I was like, jump in and lets do this. I sized him up as he walked around the front of my truck to get in. Dude is like 5'8", 190 lbs, stocky build, bald and maybe 25 years old.When he jumped in he said, "I'm not a d**ggie and shit, but when you need it you need it."I was like, "I hear that."He told me about this fine ass bitch he met one night on the blvd. He said she fucked so good that is dick sore the next morning.I laughed and said, "You sure she didn't drop a bomb on you?"He laughed and said, "Nah homie, my shit's still good," while grabbing it and shaking it a little. I laughed and said, "You ain't got's to lie homie. It's all good. What did she leave give you, warts or something growing on your dick?"He was like,.
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