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Tell you what, you undress me and I'll ... Jesus you're already starkers. Oh Jess you look beautiful, I'm one lucky man."Skin to skin we kissed and cuddled until we fell asleep. All to soon the damn alarm rang. "Time to get moving Jess, breakfast waits for no man." I just want to sleep in Tony, Christ it's the middle of the bloody night, what are you, a flaming masochist?" Remember our promise Jess, don't shit in Ernie's face, he may be OK with us but don't put him in a position where he has to bring down the curtains on us." Yeah, I know. OK I'll go into my room."I started breakfast, soon there were stragglers drifting in. Seems like there were a few hangovers amongst them. Why didn't I feel sorry for them?Ernie arrived looking worse for the wear. "Stop you're smirking you young bastard, I sat up all night worrying about my little girl being with a letch like you." Bollocks Ernie, Jess told me you were asleep when your head hit the pillow and I'm not a letch, just a pure and simple. .. the way I felt about her. But I couldn't help it. Why couldn't she have been like everyone else... afraid of me, disdainful of me? Why did she have to keep thinking there was something special in me? Why did she have to make me feel like I was worth something? It only made it harder when I realised I wasn't – when I did stupid shit like this. I kicked at an empty can on the sidewalk, sending it skittering over the pavement.I shoved my hands deep in the pockets of my hoodie, my body aching. Why couldn't I just be normal? Why couldn't I stop doing these things? These things that hurt Carly, and hurt me. Why did I have to push everyone away?I stop, realising I'm outside my building. I head up wearily, trudging up the flights of stairs. I pause when I reach my door. I always have to psyche myself up before I go in, because every time I enter, something bad happens. And I'm so tired of all this bullshit. I just wanna go to sleep and forget.I open the door, slipping inside. Mom's passed.
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