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..”“Yeah. Cindy told us. She’s hot-shotting Johanna and the greater and lesser Stoneys to Houston on Friday to meet with her mom and dad for the weekend. On the way back, she’s stopping here...”“For us...” he started.I completed his sentence, “ ... and Dave and Carlita and Brindy.”“Okay,” Bill said. “One of these days I’ll surprise you two. It might be me wearing a miniskirt and saying I identify as Trudy, the transvestite prostitute...”Deena giggled. “Hey, if you can make spending money...”“But don’t you DARE chop off the ding-dong,” I laughed. “We have needs...”“And that WOULD be a surprise,” Deena added.So I guess that Bill’s okay with it. I don’t think he really wants us dumbed down, you know, and the fact that we’re curious and we’re connected and that we pay attention to what’s happening in our lives, that’s reason enough for us to keep going like we’re going.Wednesday I came home to a FedEx delivery note on the door. Missed one. I need to start thinking about using the 3Sigma. Did you wait long?” “Not really, I was just admiring your house.” “You’re here already then?” “Yes, sir.” “You should have rang the doorbell.” “Um... I wasn’t sure if... ” “Oh, never mind, let yourself in the gate.” I crossed the street and gently applied pressure to the gate until it gave way and creaked open with a deep hum. I slithered through the small opening I had made for myself and was greeted by a figure waving from the second story balcony. “Be sure to lock the gate behind you,” he said on the phone. As I turned around to face the gate, he added, “And take your clothes off before you make your way to the front door.” “What?” I asked, incredulous. “Hmm... I thought we had an agreement here, J. Do you plan on not making good on that?” “Um... no, sir. I’m sorry.” There was a pause on the line. I couldn’t believe that I had disappointed him so soon. Why do I always have to play dumb and naive when I get myself into these things? I know what I’m getting into. There’s no point in.
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She had bought herself a little breathing space by blowing up a bridge—the secret room had contained some crates of dynamite, in addition to the paintings. And she’d put the shit to good use. Fifteen minutes prior to blowing up the bridge across the river, she had blown up the restored windmill (which was, or had been, a real towering monster, mostly stone, like you’d see in an old Frankenstein movie) in order to bury the secret room’s trapdoor under all the debris. So the bad guys wouldn’t be able to get in there and filch everything before she came back. Which she would make sure she didn’t do by herself next time, now that she knew all the priceless art was really and truly still there. Probably coming alone in the first place hadn’t been the smartest way to go about things, but she would have been embarrassed as fuck if the secret room turned out empty, or if her local helpers had bungled their part of it and steered her to the wrong windmill. Except destroying the bridge had.

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