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Becky was good at what she did. I was certain about that, but I seriously doubted she had ever worked with as a pathetic slob as I was.Most of the next couple months went by in a haze. I was always hungry, always sore, and always too busy to have any time to feel sorry for myself. By the time I went to bed, I pretty much passed out. I never ate so many vegetables and fruit. I would have killed for a Big Mac and fries.Becky took some measurements of my arms, chest, and waist the day we began my transformation. Every couple weeks after that, she would weigh me and take new measurements and write them down. She never shared the results with me and I had to wonder if I was making any progress. I had access to weight scales in the gyms and my weight really didn't seem to drop very much for a guy eating like a damn rabbit.I did spend some time making a system out of the mess of papers and bills Frank had stuffed in his office. It took a few weeks to get everything entered in the proper. Carrying a wallet around is generally more trouble than it's worth. "I ran into the guys from Primal Sheep Therapy," I explained, trying to pick capers out of the jar with my knife blade."Is that a theme camp or a rock band?" Well, it's definitely a theme camp. It may well also be a rock band. They were the guys with the blow-up doll Stonehenge last year, remember?" The transvestite pancake guys?" Only two of them were transvestites," I objected."Well, that was enough to make an impression. Where are they camping this year? I promised I'd bring them some Bailey's after that great breakfast they made me last time."That year we were camping with Index Librorum Prohibitorum (Index for short), some Portland folks with a little lending library and a guerrilla storytelling troupe. They would set up in a random public place and tell subversive or obscene folktales-sometimes original stories, sometimes a selection from the nineteenth- century pornographic anthology "Tales from the.
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