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I received a chaste kiss as thank you, and we went our separate ways.During my journey home, I replayed the evening. My date, and that still sounded odd to me, had arrived a few minutes late, dressed very demurely in a simple black skirt and white blouse. We talked initially about the previous week and all its oddities, often repeating, almost exactly, parts of our Saturday's conversation. As we relaxed, something helped by our attentive hosts, we discussed common acquaintances, which were exclusively work colleagues, before eventually talking about each other, our fears and desires. Looking back I also wonder at Olivia, she had either incredible hearing or impeccable timing, as she never seemed to arrive at an inopportune moment.A major desire of my own was exposed during that evening's conversation. As I had not been interested in women since my wife's death, I had given little thought to what I wanted out of any future relationship; it, therefore, took a while for me to explain. The reason was because he wasn't you."I was stunned. We just sat there in silence, looking at each other, my letting the meaning of what she had said sink in. I was having a hard time dealing with it. If I had heard her right, then all the fantasies I had had about her, about the way we might make love, about claiming her virgin treasures, were no longer just my fantasies alone, but were shared by her also. I had to be sure that she had actually said what I thought she did."Chrissy, do you mean... ?" Yes, you big lunk, that's exactly what I meant. I meant I didn't want to give my virginity to Jimmy. I meant I wanted my first time to be with you. I meant I wanted my first time to be with someone I love and who loves me. Someone who will take care of me and be gentle and make it something that is completely good. I don't want my first time to be a quick wham-bam in the back of a car with some kid I hardly know. Bobby, for as long as I can remember, I've dreamed my first time would be.
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