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Many of them came because they just needed someone to talk to. And perhaps just as many were wishing some of their sexual fantasies might be taken care of with a massage. Before quitting my job at the office, I managed to gain many new clients, starting with the special help of Ellen. It seemed almost every week I was entertaining new people from work or friends of friends at work, first Michelle, then Elizabeth, Yolanda, and Kelly. Ellen became first. She was telling me her lifes story after several sessions on my table. She told me how my hands seemed to caress every spot that needed extra attention. She wished her husband, John would touch her the way I did. Right out of college she had married her college beau. John was a couple of years ahead of her and had landed a job as VP at a local bank downtown. Both Ellen and John put in long hours at worked and their intimate times seemed to be getting shorter every month. I think Ellen actually felt that my massages were the foreplay. I could live with not being loved as long as I was needed, even if to be needed meant being a whore and a slut then here I am. Then the marriage made the dream a possibility and if it was possible then it could someday be a reality and that fucked everything up. Now nothing is simple anymore. Hope has reared its ugly head. The real pisser is that I understand in my head that the dream is only a fantasy because I can’t be loved, because no one will love a whore and a slut. But my heart wants to hang onto the dream. I hate you because you can’t possibly love me and you will eventually leave me.”We lay there in silence. Many minutes passed before I finally spoke.“Yeah, I can see that your life was really great before I came along and fucked it up.”She laughed and slapped me on the arm and we fell silent again although now we were looking at each other.“How come you haven’t tried to fuck me?” she asked.“Because I don’t want to fuck you.”“Bullshit. You want my body. Your dick has been.
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