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Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea.Three friends from the local congregation were asked, “When you’re in your casket, and friends and congregation members are mourning over you, what would you like them to say?”Artie said, “I would like them to say I was a wonderful husband, a fine spiritual leader, and a great family man.”Eugene commented, “I would like them to say I was a wonderful teacher and servant of God who made a huge difference in people’s lives...”Al said, “I’d like them to say, ‘Look, he’s moving!’”Smith climbs to the top of Mt. Sinai to get close enough to talk to God.Looking up, he asks the Lord.“God, what does a million years mean to you?”The Lord replies, “A minute.”Smith asks, “And what does a million dollars mean to you?”The Lord replies, “A penny.”Smith asks, “Can I have a penny?”The Lord replies, “In a minute.”A man goes to a shrink and says, “Doctor, my wife is unfaithful to me. Every evening, she goes to. She held mygaze and tightened her fingers around my hair. Her otherhand continued to hold my chin as she stared at my made-upface. Very briefly, she brought her face close to mine, andtouched her lips to mine. It wasn't really a kiss, but abrushing of our lips. I could feel myself melting into her,becoming her. My eye shadow, the same shade as hers,blended into her. My lipstick, also in her shade, began toblur into hers. Her way of owning me was to re-create me inher image. My hair, dyed the same auburn color and done inher razor-cut shag style, reached out and merged with hers.Continuing to hold eye contact, Mistress leaned down andlightly pushed me to the floor. I fell back in a timelessrapture. Her fingers remained wrapped in my hair and shetwisted her hand, increasing the intensity of her controlover me. Her other hand slapped my cheek hard, bringing mealive as my soul lifted out of me and intertwined withhers. In this power exchange we became one. I squirmed abit, feeling the.
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