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"Because I kept hoping. Right up until this moment, I kept hoping." She took a breath. "We have two different problems, you know. Yours is that you don't love me. Mine is that I love you too much." LOVE ME TOO MUCH?" I exploded. "You've got to be kidding! You love me so much you're never here. Even when you are here, you're not here. We haven't made love in six months, and it was sporadic as all hell before that. If you love me too much, you've got a funny way of showing it!"She looked up at me, lower lip trembling. She visibly sucked back the tears that were threatening to form. I was shocked. Suddenly, in a complete change of subject, she asked, "What's her name?" Kiersten," I told her."Is she pretty?" I shrugged noncommittally. "How does she make you feel?" I just looked at her. "Giddy, lightheaded, all out of breath? Like a sixteen-year-old?" Yeah," I admitted."You never felt that way about me." It wasn't a question, but I nodded."We started out as friends, remember," I told her.. I was so strung out after I finished a whole pipe by myself. I had it in my mind that I was going to go out and walk the street like a real hooker. I didn't need a car, or Shawn or for that matter, anyone to take care of me. I showered and put on my make up and a very sexy and slutty outfit. I had never really worked the street before, so I had no idea what I was doing. Sure, I had gotten picked up and fucked on numerous occasions, but I wasn't usually trying, it was just something that happened. It was about 2 pm when I hit the downtown streets and so the lunch time crowd was gone and there wasn't much going on. I didn't know where I would look for a John at that time of day or in that area of town. I decided to head into a small sidestreet bar to have a few drinks and sat there by myself, drinking chocolate martinis for the next 4 hours. I was so drunk and still stoned when the after work crowd came in for happy hour. A young guy in a suit brought me over another drink when I.
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