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He felt satisfied and the wine had given him an air of calm. He looked at his watch. It was almost eight forty-five now. Dawn had been alone with Bradley for well over an hour now; she would have been well and truly fucked by now. They would probably be in bed now; cuddling and talking quietly. Dawn liked to talk in bed after making love. She used to do it a lot, but he had stopped listening over the years; nowadays they just fell asleep in each other’s arms.He had a feeling that Bradley wouldn’t be asleep just yet. He would probably be listening to her as he cradled her against his chest. He would probably be touching her too; fondling her breasts and touching her sex as well. He also imagined that Dawn would be holding him; holding his erection, that is. She once told him that she liked to feel cocks stiffen in her hand. It satisfied her feeling a man hard in her hand. It made her feel like a woman. With Bradley, it would be even more satisfying knowing how big he was.The bartender. .. but can’t. The frustration. It already feels weak and submissive, all painted like a girl, dressed in its stockings and girlie things... but locking away its misallocated make genitalia amplifies its sense of submission and weakness many times. It feels impotent, helpless, pathetic. It desperately wants to relieve itself. But not only dies that make a mess of its pretty panties and stockings, it purges all of its girlie transvestite urges for a brief moment of ecstasy. When it has finished it sees itself not as the sexy girlie it has conjured for itself, but as a bizarre young male in stockings and women’s underwear. Without that arousal it derives from its effeminacy and the girlie sensations of its pretty girlie clothes, it feels ashamed and filled with self-loathing. For, at the most, a few short hours it is able to delude itself, again, that it is a regular boy. But it’s not. The urge to dress up in stockings, pretty lingerie, high heels, skirts and to paint its face and nails.
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