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.."I don't need to write that down, I'll remember it."Wouldn't it be great if we could put ourselves in the dryer for ten minutes; come out wrinkle-free and three sizes smaller!Last year I joined a support group for procrastinators. We haven't met yet!I don't trip over things, I do random gravity checks!I don't need anger management. I need people to stop pissing me off!Old age is coming at a really bad time!Lord grant me the strength to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can & the friends to post my bail when I finally snap!I don't have white hair, I have "wisdom highlights". I'm just very wise.My people skills are just fine. It's my tolerance to idiots that needs work.If God wanted me to touch my toes, he would've put them on my knees.The kids text me "plz" which is shorter than please. I text back "no" which is shorter than "yes".I'm going to retire and live off of my savings. Not sure what I'll do that second week.When did it change from "We the. " What, you actually thought that I would dare forget my Sweetheart's 15th birthday? Not a chance. Now you just sit there. I'll feed you like I did in the hospital."I started feeding her. I was having fun. As I have said before, anything was fun with Jenny."Mark, this feels corny." You weren't saying that in the hospital." Yeah, but I didn't have any other choice then either." Well, today it's just you getting a little birthday pampering. Enjoy it." Ok Mark. You win."I fed her the rest of her breakfast before getting off the bed."You go enjoy an early morning shower. I have to clean up my mess in the kitchen and get my chores done. I'll be on the patio when you're done." Ok mommy. Hehehe."She went off to the bathroom for that shower. I went downstairs to get the kitchen cleaned and the rest of my daily chores done. I had gotten used to doing them, so it only took me about 10 minutes to complete.Jenny came outside about 10 minutes after I had finished and sat down beside me."Would you.
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Bleh! How does he drink this swill? I’m doing him a favor... Then, I placed the glass on the ground, and began squatting again. I drank a whole lot of water at the gym, and it was time to pee! I squatted right over his glass, and began filling the rest of the glass with my piss. Ew, and it was that smelly kind of piss. The kind that’s bright yellow, not the clear kind. I hope he enjoys his tasty treat!I stood up, and on my way out told the cook to send our food over. The look on his face was priceless!*****Finally, she’s back! But I still haven’t found something interesting to say! Oh well... at least the food is here now. Before I start my meal, I reach down for a sip of my beer. Yuck! This is awful!! It’s kinda warm, and tastes really bitter and salty... I’ve never tasted anything like this! I begin to raise my hand to summon the waiter, but Taylor quickly grabs my arm and shoves it back down. She leans over the table until her mouth is right next to my ear.“I took a piss in your.

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