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Living among the needy has illuminated my own emptiness.I have decided to return to our house ... to restore it to its former grandeur, and try to make of it a place of happiness and light. I know you want nothing to do with that sad place, but this is something that is driving me. I know not what I’ll do with it once its darkness is expelled. I know I may not even be able to do that. Perhaps I’ll donate it to the county as a museum. But I know this is something I must do.I want to see you again too, dearest sister. I know you are happy with your husband and family, and I will not intrude upon that happiness. Please find it in your heart to let me see you again when I return, if only briefly and in secret, and then I shall retreat again, leaving you to your well-deserved wonderful life.The image of your face in my mind has lifted me from despair on more occasions than I could count. I know I was never a good brother to you, but I have learned much about the world and myself in my. His breath was heavy, I could hear it so loud, almost as loud as my own, and I could feel it brushing along my skin as he leaned over me, looking over each inch of my body. These were pieces of myself I had spent so much of my life hating, so much of my time wasted on cursing it, pinching and bruising, self-harming; but he looked at it with renewed adoration, affection and love poured into me with each kiss that sunk into my skin like a warm beam of sunlight.He was kind, moving as he began hiding under the warmth of the blanket that was pulled on top of me so I wouldn’t grow cold, but in time I could feel the cool air from the fan being brushed against my chest followed by a warm pant against my nipple. My hands clenched the sheets beside me, this was it, a big moment. He was seeing me, my breasts, the scars of surgery from my youth, the translucent shimmer of stretch marks ... He kissed the center of my sternum and I shivered.Even his first move on such a sensitive place was not.
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