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Lisbeth told me I spent a lot of time sitting and staring at the walls.The graveside service was mercifully brief, then we drove to Charli's parents' house to eat. I think it is a strange custom to gather for food and drink after someone dies; others believe it to be a time for remembrance of the dead and fellowship. I stayed close to Mom and Lisbeth, my anchors to sanity in an insane world.All during the drive to Fargo, I asked myself just what deity I had pissed off to warrant such intimate hurt. First my father and then Charli, two of the people I loved the most. What had I done? What injury had I caused, and to whom? I was — and am — unable to believe in predestination or karma. How could something or someone hate me so much? I had no answers.We got home late, and after a brief kiss and a promise to return the next day, Donny went home. I went into the bedroom and froze; the reminders of Charli — her clothes, her scent, her jewelry, her stuffed animals on the bed — were a shock. She was wearing a bikini, which looked familiar. Spotting me she raised her hand as she sat on the lounger. I headed over to her, not wanting anything about last night hanging over us.“How’s your head this morning?” I asked looking down at her. “I’m fine why?” “just asking” I replied.Seeing that I was not getting anywhere with this conversation, I decided to clean out what little rubbish was in the pool. After about ten minutes, I was just about done, I heard Jayne get up off the lounger and I could hear her feet on the side of the pool. “Looks like you could do with a dip,” she said passing me and with her hip, bumping me into the pool!I landed with a large splash, as I surfaced I could hear her laughing as she headed for the kitchen.My hat was floating off to the side, swimming over I retrieved it, and headed for the side to climb out. My shorts weighed down with water, decided to fall past my ass as I lifted myself out of the water. “Hmmmm, nice ass” Jayne was laughing as she.
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