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The look in his eyes when I started to stutter was all I could remember. Hurt and disappointment filled his eyes and then he was gone. I was left behind with my thoughts. On the first day I thought only about how difficult it was for me to say it aloud, how scared I was of it. I paced around the empty flat the whole day, made cups of tea to calm me down and then forgot them lying around with only a few sips drunk. I slept little that night. On the second morning I wished I could call him and ask him to come back so we could talk. I could make him understand, I was sure of it. I missed him. I wanted to touch him and I wanted him near me so I could smell his after shave and hear one of his stupid stories about Italy. The next day found me as a mess. My heart started to ache around noon that day, I was sure it was because I missed him so. The problem with three words seemed stupid now, insignificant and small. I became angry at myself for being so scared of every little thing in this. Teresa blushed at that and held Jack’s hand tightly; the rest of us simply raised our eyebrows and wondered what that meant long term. We learned that a month later, when Jack called home on Christmas Day and announced that he and Teresa were engaged. Bobbie Joe told me that Mom immediately got on the phone with Teresa and started happy crying, while Dad just shook his head and smiled. The Hispano family was invited to visit that summer.Jack was in the news a lot that winter, all of it football related. He had to travel to New York in the middle of December for the Heisman Trophy Award program. He thought that was total bullshit. “I am the token defensive player. There’s always one. In the entire history of the Heisman, only one defensive player has ever gotten it. It’s either going to be a quarterback, a running back, or a wide receiver. Anybody else is just there as window dressing.”I rolled my eyes when he said that. “You poor baby! Does that mean you won’t be getting drafted in.
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