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When they left for the honeymoon I caught a cab back to my hotel.It was quite lively with a wedding of its own well underway and a lot of people milling round in the normal half drunk uncomfortable wedding manner.As I went to get my key a young stocky man grabbed my arm and asked me where I had been as he hadn't noticed me before, he obviously thought I was part of his wedding. He asked me if I wanted a drink with him and his friends, I was a bit merry so I said ok, one wouldn't hurt, we went into one of the bars and I found myself with a bunch of men of all ages drinking hard and swearing profusely, I seemed to be an instant hit!To cut a long story short I got drunk, when I was at my most vulnerable one of them made a move on me that I did see coming but did nothing to resist, he was a rather sweet young man of about 22, he took my hand and pulled me into a dimly lit games room and started to kiss me very hard, he gently lifted me up onto the snooker table and pulled the hem of my. Why don’t you take it out?”“I regret I cannot”, lamented the first Arab. “It is permanently stuck in my ass.”“I do not understand,” said the other.The first Arab says, “I was walking along Bloor Street and I tripped over an oil lamp. There was a puff of smoke, and then a huge old man in Canadian Flag attire with a white beard and cowboy hat came boiling out. He said, “I am Captain Canada, the Genie. I can grant you one wish.”I said, “No shit?”God Bless CanadaThis one is compliments of neubergerHere is one that should come with a warning to not drink or eat while reading.“As a joke, my brother Jay used to hang a pair of panty hose over his
 fireplace before Christmas. He said all he wanted was for Santa to fill
them.

What they say about Santa checking the list twice must be true because every Christmas morning, although Jay’s kids’ stockings overflowed, his poor pantyhose hung sadly empty.One year I decided to make his dream come true. I put on sunglasses and
 went in search of an.
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