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Like being paralyzed. I won't lie. I've been so lonely, so sad in the midst of wonderful friends and family, success in every other way. I have a wonderful life. But no one, NO ONE, touching me or needing me or wanting me in THAT one way. That mattered, more than I realized. It would be like a baby whose parents won't pick her up but who lean over the crib saying 'I love you' 'I love you' all the time. What does that even mean? And you. Sara. Crazy bat shit. God. You gave me this, even though you are my sister. Even though this is wrong on so many levels, and no one would understand. You risked THIS, for me. I was so lonely Sara. You needing ME, giving your body, and what a body it is by the way. Mmmm. It's weird, this simple act, this physical act. I have always loved you, as family. Never any other way, as gods truth. I'd have never imagined sharing physical love, with the love I have, for you. But being cut off, left adrift, what you mean to me now, saving me. God Sara, I love you. She stands, looking cooler than ice cream on the street corner by the lamp post with the other popular kids, the centre of attention with her long her and her green glitter painted fingernails. Apollo walks by, he's grown over the years, his hair scruffy, in baggy shorts and a ragged t-shirt, skateboard under one arm. The other kids, older than him, sneer down their well shaped noses. Big blue eyes creep up to the girl, for maybe a flash of friendship, of recognition. But she has no time for her old friend now and turns away.The sound of the hammer being drawn back. Click, click, click.The face above Apollo moves out of his vision, the gun barrel slips from between his cracked dry lips, banging his teeth as the figure moves away across the empty concrete floor. A parking lot, dimly lit, the halogen tube above Apollo's head was on a constant flicker, a tiny tinging sound filling the empty space between his ears. He could no longer think. Death was coming.Apollo with his shoulder.
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