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Looking, admiring, or comparing myself to another woman from afar was somehow okay. However, talking like this to her and ... feeling ... like this, especially around her, was different and wrong. Or was it? I wasn’t quite sure yet.I put those disturbing thoughts out of my mind and quickly decided to change the subject. “I’m slowing down, Alyssa, you ready for bed?”“Yeah, I’m getting tired too.”Silently, we undressed and got into our jammies, which consisted of sleeper shorts and big, comfortable T-shirts. Could she feel this too? There was electricity in the air ... sexual electricity. I could feel her sneaking peeks at me and I very nonchalantly snuck glances at her too while we were changing. I quickly shut off the light and we got into bed.We bid each other goodnight, but it took hours for me to fall asleep. When sleep finally did come, it was restless and dreamless. Even though nothing happened between us, somehow it was as if a door had been opened, and I wasn’t sure I wanted. At that point, I was finishing up mopping the front end and paid a bit more attention to what she was saying and actually responding to her. Somehow she talked me into coming to her when I got off work, which by then was only a few minutes away, and make sure she was okay.I pulled up in front of the dorm she directed me to and saw someone sitting on the retaining wall adjoining the front steps. Looking out the passenger window, I saw them get up and walk toward me silhouetted by the floodlight behind them. She thin or fat and walked right up to the passenger door, giving me a good look at her curves. She turned as she opened the door and got in and that was the first I saw of her face. I was pretty picky about women I dated or slept with and she wasn’t quite up to my standard. I’m not sure how I got so picky, maybe because I was somewhat shy until I got to know someone and figured only the ones I considered really good looking were worth taking the risk of being rejected. I doubt I.
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