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Could you be any less specific?”“Yeah,” I said, simply. “I found her.”“Well you sound really excited about it,” Toby replied. “I mean, seriously.” He began to speak in a flat monotone. “No. Stop. Settle down. I can’t let you do it. Be still. Control yourself, you maniac.”“What’s wrong?” asked Dave, still searching. “Did she get fat?”“Fuck, dude!” hissed Toby. “That’s really inappropriate. And really discriminatory too,” he said a little louder, eyeing off a few woman weightlifters standing near us.“Yeah,” I said, rolling my eyes. “She put on eighty kilos which is why she’s a competitive swimmer at the fucking Olympics.”“Tsk. Sarcasm is the lowest form of wit,” Dave said, turning to me and shaking his head.“Which is why I’m using it to talk to the biggest moron in this stadium,” I snapped back.“Children!” Toby clapped his hands loudly and spoke in an absurdly bad impression of a British nanny. “If you can’t be civil with each other, I will turn this opening ceremony around and it will. I’m just glad you and mom are here to keep me company.”“Your mother is a natural with Billy. But I’d like to do what I can around the house, too.”She relented and rattled off a list of things her husband didn’t get around to doing. Then she winced.“You okay?” “I need to go sort something out.”“You’re not in pain, are you?”“Oh, dad. No. It’s just my boobs are aching. They’re full and I need to pump.”“Oh,” I said, my face flushing red.She giggled and went upstairs.A few minutes passed, and I barely got out to the shed before Sam called for me.“Dad? Can you come here a second?” she called out of the window.I went upstairs, and a knocked on the bedroom door and entered. The moment I saw her, my eyes went wide, and I spun around.A machine was attached to her breast, whirring away and drawing the milk out and pumping it into a bottle.“Sorry, I didn’t mean to walk in on you like this,” I muttered.She giggled. “This is rather embarrassing, but can you lend me a hand?”I scratched the back of.
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