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" "Not well. When I fired the pistol, my wife pooped on my face, bit three inches off my penis, and my neighbor came out of the closet with his hands in the air." "Isn't he a little old to be believing in genies?"Ezra knew she would have to talk to Eddie after lunch, but in the meantime, they had a large table reserved at their favorite place. A nice pub not far from the area where they all worked now. Catherine was in the middle of a story when Eddie just started cracking up."Then you try and hold on for 30 seconds." "Well," she replied, "now you can't complain that there's never anything to eat between Christmas and New Year!" "No, that's fine with me. Just understand that there will be sex here at seven o'clock every night, whether you're here or not." "You know? Your wife IS better." Everyone stopped talking and just looked at him. Eddie was known for having a good sense of humor, but he was laughing so hard hse had tears in his eyes. Elza didn't understand either, but she. “This is all a game of chances. I suggest that we come to a deal. I will let you ascend to the throne.” “What do you get in return?” she inquired. “You. You’d listen to me for all your decisions and would be under my command. Privately, of course. But you have my word that I will release you from this oath after I tire of ruling.” Penelope only considered this offer for a moment. She would get to be the figurehead, yet Derrick would be telling her what to do and say. “No.” She said. “No?” He pulled a knife, and with the strength of a bull, forced the blade against her neck. “Then how about I take your life instead, hm?” he growled. “If you don’t accept, I will beat you, then hang you naked outside the castle so all your citizens can see their ‘rightful heir’.” She stood, frozen by shock. The only movement in the room was their heavy breathing. Seeing no alternative, she bowed her head and accepted his proposal. Derrick smirked victoriously and sheathed his knife at his side. “Now.
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