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We had to go to the drug store and get several sets of large untintedfingernails, and then use just the biggest four (thumb and middlefinger) from each set, but they looked okay when they were in place,Then I thought I was finally ready. Let's get this over with, it'ssweaty under this thing.But Mandy was not yet satisfied."Your teeth!" she insisted."Nobody's gonna notice my teeth!" I complained.But she insisted, so we tried to age them with some yellow foodcoloring. That was too bright, so we added some red and green, andfinally my poor teeth looked suitably brown."Will I ever get my lovely white teeth back?" I mourned."Probably not!" was Mandy's perky reply. I tried to clobber her, but Ifell over. Damned wobbly shoes anyway.So finally it was time to take this show on the road. First I went downto the corner convenience store. Nobody raised an eyebrow, even when Istumbled against the newspaper rack. "Can I use a check, Joe?" I asked,in an unconvincing voice. "My wife borrowed the. Making my way back to the booth, one of the guys met me at the door. ‘You alright love; your boyfriend said he had to go back to the office to pick something up. He wouldn’t be long, but he asked us to look after you as you might have had a bit to drink.’ ‘Oh yes,’ I replied, ’please I need to get to my seat.’ Smiling between themselves two of them propelled me back to my seat at the bar. They half assisted and half hoisted me onto the stool and as I sat I could see J at the bar on the other side of the horseshoe. The fact that when I was sat my stocking tops were completely on display wasn’t lost on all six of the guys. In my ‘tipsy state’ I didn’t notice at all. Apart from the six guys in the snug, nobody else could see as I was close up to the bar top. They passed over my drink and crowded around. As I looked out across the bar I could see J on the other side of the horseshoe. None of the six guys had noticed him. He motioned thumbs-up to me and I responded in kind. I was.
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