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”“I do, don’t I?” she said. “I know that I am ridiculous, because I continually flirt with people. I don’t mean to, but I still don’t stop. I love being loved, I suppose. Yes, I did love him, Edgar, and in a way, I always will ... but, and for some reason I want to tell you something that I have never, ever told anyone ... Brad never loved me, never.”“Because he loved himself too much?” I managed to suggest.“Yes, you are right, I guess he did. He was selfish. I guess we actors, we are all narcissistic creatures, cravin’ recognition, adoration ... love.”“From what I understand, both of you are loved by millions.”“Not much consolation when you are not loved by that one man who you always regarded as your hero.”I released her hands and cradled my own cup. “Or one woman, or girl, as she was at the time.” I had my own private grief too, I had just lived with it longer, that’s all.She reached out her hands for mine and we gripped each other’s hands hard.The Nippy appeared at our shoulder,. It was dirty and wrong and secretive and over as quickly as it happened. He pulled away. Now I remember... He's not interested in me. I don't even look at him. Embarrassed that I just caressed my ass against my coworker, I grab the juice I came down for and quickly turned to leave. But there he stood, facing me in front of my exit. I pretended that I didn't notice him blocking my way and went to exit anyway.“Do you need anything else?““No. I think I got it.““Are you sure?“Well I was sure I didn't need any other bar supplies but something gave me the feeling that wasn't all he was referring to. Maybe it was his tone of voice. Maybe it was him slowly putting his hand on the small of my back... but something gave me the feeling he was willing to help me out with more than juice. I didn't know how to answer. If I say yes, I'm the new bar slut. If i say no, well.... I didn't say anything. I just stood there like a deer in the headlights frozen by fear. The fear of giving in.
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