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I grabbed a seat by the window, Kevin slid in next to me, and his friend Paul slid in next to him. At some point, we adjusted positions so that my hips were next to Kevin and my feet were on Paul and I was half-lying down. I started to drift off to sleep when I felt something that stirred my interest. Kevin started rubbing my knee in tiny circles, and as I lay there, I felt the circles getting higher and higher on my leg. There were circles above my knee, circles on my thigh, circles getting higher on my thigh, circles just inside the leg of my shorts. I sort of sat up and looked at Kevin out of one eye. “Can I help you?” I said sleepily. “Sorry, do you want me to stop?” He asked, pulling his hand away quickly. “Ummmmmm, I don’t know.” I said. This was weird, I wasn’t expecting this. Yeah Kevin was HOT, but he was the younger brother of someone I graduated with. I was going to college in a few weeks; he was going into his junior year of high school. I hadn’t ever thought of him that. Kristin and John will bring breakfast for you, Jessie and I will bring the fixings for dinner.’ ‘Dad, are you going to be okay? Mom insisted that we take you to the candlelight service like always, and that we leave you alone tonight, but if you want…’ Reality sucks. I wished I could retreat back into my cocoon, but my bubble had dissolved and I knew I couldn’t live there anymore. I interrupted him, ‘No, I’m going to be fine. I just miss your mother …’ I struggled not to break down. ‘More than I can say, but I need some time to absorb all this. Don’t come too early in the morning. I’ll probably stay up a while and sleep in.’ He gave me a firm hug and left without another word. I looked around the house. I hadn’t been able to remove a single thing of Ginny’s, except the medical stuff we needed at the end. If she were to walk in right now, everything would be like she wanted it. I sat in my recliner, and I looked over at her empty chair. I pictured her there laughing at the absurdity.
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