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You’re afraid to move because it might start again.With my type of Aphasia you transition back and forth from verbal to various states of non verbal. These can scale from almost unnoticeable slight pauses to severe stuttering to jumbled sentence structure to absolute muteness. I run the entire spectrum though absolute muteness is somewhat rare with me. Now there are soft transitions where the speaker may feel a slight pressure before or as or after the transition occur. Then there are hard transitions that are very painful. Transitions being neurological in nature can also trigger panic attacks like PTSD. For me, the panic attacks are a problem. Panic attacks trigger the fight or flight response. When I’m afraid of something I kill it. If it’s dead it can’t hurt me. So during a panic attack anything I interpret as aggressive is a direct and immediate threat to my survival. I am a trained fighter. I never had these attacks before my illness.One day my wife raised her voice to me in an. Glancing at the clock, I still had an hour to go before lunch. Pulling out my phone, I decided to have some fun. ‘Oh really, and how will we do that then?’There was a brief pause. He sent back, ‘Well there are still a few things left in your toys box that we haven’t played with’.This was true. I usually liked to just use my nice seven-inch vibrator but I also had an eight-inch dildo and a couple butt plugs that I rarely used. Thinking about it made me wish I had small quiet bullet that I could bring to work. But, then again, if I had one I wouldn’t get any work done.‘Mmm I did enjoy them last night’. It was true. I’d had some of my best orgasms, that feeling of letting go and being told what to due struck a very erotic nerve.‘Then there is also the possibility of some cam fun, you know how much I would love to see you’.This wasn’t the first time He had suggested it and I had to admit to myself that it did appeal to me a litte. We had sent each other a few photos and I could clearly.
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