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‘That realization, that I hadn’t done my due diligence, and the fact that Tami really didn’t have a way to punish Brandon, had me take a dive emotionally. I was instrumental in my best friend being raped. Add to it that he said the reason he did it was to take me down and unmask me.I thought about my behavior afterwards. If I’d known, I would’ve have done anything I could for her. Instead I pushed her away, and used it to help get over the hurt of her final rejection of me during the summer. The sad part was that I realized it had worked: even now, with me knowing she’d been violated, I had no desire to be more than friends with her. I guess it was a measure of self-preservation. I couldn’t risk her being anything more than a friend.I was finally honest with myself. Tami and I would never have our someday. If that were true, then I could move forward and just be friends with her. I felt my Alpha Male side want to still claim her, but I needed to start thinking of her like I did the. I mean, an infant, even one six times stronger than others, is still an infant. I can see the need for wrestler nannies and sumo bodyguards as I grew (I forgot to mention my parents were quite well off?) But was there really a need for weighted braces and the constant injections to debilitate me? I was told since I could remember that I was weak, and the braces helped me to stand, and the injections helped me with my weakness. It was harped constantly that I needed to focus on my intellect and my spiritual development, to offset my physical defects.I suppose I was grateful later in my life that the constant injections of venoms and plant poisons gave me a resistance immunity to almost all natural forms of poison, but as a growing child, it was torture to be half paralyzed with curare, or rattlesnake venom, forbidden to play with other children, and made to study things like physics, chemistry, mathematics, music, languages, philosophy, poetry and religion.In a way I was lucky, my.
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