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”Without looking at me, she said, “I’m quitting the Group.”“You’re what?”“You heard me.”I turned her towards me, but then had to duck down in order to capture her eyes for a moment when she tried to avoid my doing so.She was torn between her feelings for me and her programmed loyalty to the Group constantly making her watch what she said around me. During Christmas break, we had developed such an honest and open rapport. But now with all her Group related activities, she had been unable to continue to do that while I hadn’t stopped. It was making her feel guilty as hell.“I’m sorry,” I said as she turned away again. “I didn’t think about how all this was making you feel.”“You don’t have anything to be sorry about,” she said a bit unsteadily. “It’s not your fault.”“It’s not yours either,” I said, stepping up behind her and rubbing her upper arms with my hands. “It isn’t even Sarah’s. It’s just the way things are. I don’t want you to quit the Group because of me.”“It isn’t just because. ’ The nurse backed out, still grinning widely. ‘There’s a detective waiting, so don’t take too long,’ she sing-songed right before she closed the door. I slid out of the bed and opened the bag holding my clothes. Then I looked over at Keven, still seated in the chair. ‘Out.’ If I pulled off this gown, there would be no doubt left as to how far gone I was for him. He grinned. ‘But I’ve already seen you naked.’ ‘And that will just have to tide you over,’ I said archly. ‘The next time you see me naked will be when we’re ready to spend some quality time alone. There are too many interruptions around this place. Now, out.’ I pointed at the door. Unrepentant, he slid out and closed the door behind him. I slumped against the gurney and let my breath out. What was I doing? I wasn’t even trying to pretend we weren’t going to make love anymore. Not even to Keven. Had I lost every ounce of self-respect I’d ever had? I stripped off the gown and ran water over a washcloth. I had to freshen up..
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