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The day was normal till 11 in the morning. As you knew guys that she was my cousin sister & having sex with her was hard to convince my self, I could not sleep for the entire week, but how can I ever imagine her having sex with a strange guy hence I made up my mind finally & the day came when I had to make the first move. I asked if we could go out for dinner tonight, she told me why out when it’s just the two of us in the house and why should we go out . I agreed I asked her if her husband was coming home she told me not to worry as his business trip was prolonged for one more week & the kids are at their Nani’s place (Grandmother) for the weekend. She openly asked me how if had any wish or anything special in mind or if any kind of preparation needed to be done. Now everything was too frank between us nothing that I could not be shy of. I told her that I would wish to see her wedding sari I mean how a girl prepares herself for her 1st night. She was soo happy I could not describe. She finished up loading the laundry, went back to her room, and a moment later ran out the door in her scrubs. I clearly remember a pang of compassion for my mother, thinking, based on what I had gleaned about women and attractiveness at that age, that she was unattractive.Having a big butt was bad, I thought. I didn't know about stretch marks, about folds of skin, about blue veins barely visible under the skin like cloudy ice. She had big breasts, but they were all wrong, they looked too soft and they fell away from her chest. It's funny looking back, but that's what I thought when I observed her like this when I was sixteen and assessed her with the neutrality of peering at the inside of an appliance you had never seen before.Even as my experience with women expanded and I developed my own sexuality, I would have never looked at my mother in that way. I think there's some biological component, some kind of safeguard for that kind of thing. Or maybe it's only social taboo, but it's.
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