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I felt like I needed to return, to say goodbye to Jonathan. As I got closer I felt anxious, most likely a posttraumatic response. When I was close I pulled off the side of the road to park. My headlights shown on the white wooden cross Jonathans family put at the sight of the accident in memory of him. I flipped off my headlines, turned off the car and walked to it. The full moon illuminated the area enough for me to see. With streaks of tears on my cheeks, I touched the cross, running my fingers over his name written on it. My legs buckled and I dropped to kneel by his marker. ‘Why, Why, WHYYYYYY?’ I was sobbing so hard, I didn’t hear the person behind me. A hand touched my shoulder. I turned to see Jonathan. Everything went black. I woke with my head lying in his lap along the roadside. He stroked my hair and smiled at me. ‘Jonathan?’ ‘Yes Angela.’ ‘How can this be?’ ‘Shhhh, it’s ok baby.’ ‘No please, Jonathan, this can’t be. You’re dead!’ ‘Tonight is the night that ghosts come. As Mom headed into the bathroom I stopped her and asked why we didn't take baths together like we used to. She replied "I don't know son I guess because you were growing up and I didn't think you wanted to anymore." I told her "I always liked it Mom and remember how I would wash your back for you. I really miss the time we spent together in the tub."She thought for a minute then said "Well I guess it would be OK you're still my little boy. I'll run the bath water while you get undressed and get some clean clothes to put on then you can join me in the bath." I went to my room, stipped off my clothes, grabbed my PJ's and walked into the bathroom and got in the tub. Mom had put some bubble bath in the water and we were covered by bubbles half way up our bodies. I sat between her legs with my back toward her as she began washing me down. She reached around me washing my chest and belly then did each of my legs. Then she washed me between my legs, I suppose just like she always had.
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