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His heart thrummed againsthis chest."Alright, but, if you change your mind, I'm sitting over there," the mantold him. Craig glanced where he pointed before nodding silently.After waiting for a few minutes, Craig finished his drink quickly. Heset down seven dollars, gathered his purse and left, stumbling oncebefore straightening and walking through the door. More people stared athim on the way home but, when he was safe in his room, he stripped out ofthe suit again to lay naked beneath his covers.It had been so incredibly thrilling and terrifying at the same time buthe'd done it. He'd done it and enjoyed it. The attention. The feelingof being out there. Of being watched. Of being different."Ma'am," he whispered while rubbing his stomach.He would buy himself a bra. He knew he would. Now that he'd tried it,he couldn't stop."Tomorrow," he told himself, picturing it in his mind. Walking out ofthe house to the bus stop to get a ride to the shopping plaza neardowntown. Wearing. If you’ll recall, I said at the top that I was 40. An18 year marriage collapsed under me a year earlier. Myfault —I never dealt with my father’s alcoholism and itseffects on me. Denial was a way of life. I became moreand more distant to my wife and my two kids. Alcohol isonly one escape from life. There are many others. Foodwas one of mine. My divorce was a real wake up call. Inearly lost my job and everything else in my lifewithout dealing with my problems, but when I lost myfamily, well, that was something that really got to me.I got into therapy and began to deal with all thethings going on inside my head. But I still wasn’t intorelationships. Too many wounds, many self inflicted,had left my heart encased in some pretty tough scartissue. That’s why I hesitated a little before sayingyes to Lisa’s invitation.“Sure. Sounds great. I’ll meet you in the lobby in 15minutes.”Cut to a Perkins. Any Perkins. They all look prettymuch the.
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