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There's only two left and I hate to throw them out."You think for a second and took at your watch."It's 2:50. Come over at 4:00 with the beers. How's that?" That's fine," I say as I turn to go. "See you at 4:00.When you let me in you are wearing your usual sleepwear, a tank top and thin pants. Your nipples are already poking out. You follow my gaze."It's just because it a little cold in here," you tease.I'm wearing a t-shirt and shorts ... it's warm in your room.We sit on the couch, drink our beers and just talk. Most of the conversation is work related, discussing how the job went, what remains to be done when we get back to the office, etc. When the beers are finished I take your face in my hands and just look at you. Your hazel eyes, your blonde hair, your smiling mouth. I'm so lucky to have you. We start kissing and making out like high schoolers. The first time I touch your breast you slap my hand away. "Dirty boy!" you laugh and go back to kissing me. After 15 minutes of. . Was it out of respect? Habit? Disappointment? Maybe all of them? It didn’t matter. She wasn’t there. She hadn’t been there for years.I opened the door to my room, which was right in front of hers. It was certainly my room. The vanity that I insisted my father to buy when I turned 14 was still there. There was the old computer I used to play games on which was outdated even back when I was still in school. The bed I used to sleep in at night was tidy, just like the day I left it. The closet even still had my clothes. Nothing had changed. Everything was exactly the way it was when I left it. Did my parents leave it that way, hoping for all these years that I would come home?How long did they wait? How long did they keep their hopes up? Did they ever thought that I wouldn’t be coming home at all?My hands stopped right before I touched the doorknob of the door that separated their bedroom from the hallway. Could I handle this? I was afraid. I was deathly afraid. Even now, in my mind’s.
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