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I understand my motivation and why it happened, and I hope you’ll forgive me.“It all comes down to a deep-seated fear that making love with you would change us in ways that we couldn’t predict or control. It was one thing to talk about it and plan it, but a very different thing to actually do it. As the time got closer, my subconscious panicked, afraid that by following through on what I had promised, I would ruin things forever between us.”Stephanie squeezed my hand as a way of encouraging me to keep going. I took a deep breath and let it out.“I was conflicted because I had given you my promise to do exactly what you wanted. At first, it was grudging, but eventually I accepted it, then, in the end, embraced it. Or so I thought, at least consciously. But my subconscious was thinking otherwise. I knew that breaking my promise to you would be devastating, so I needed to orchestrate a way of getting you to let me out of the agreement.“Becky was the perfect way to do that. Having sex. Bob sent Pete back to the hotel to see if he could get some clothes from the lost and found for us to wear. He came back after a few minutes with some men’s clothing. He had found enough clothing for the men but no women’s clothes. I accused him of doing it on purpose. Pete said," I’m sorry Sandy there just wasn’t any women’s clothes there”. So now they were dressed, and I was still butt naked. Now that they had clothes, they were suddenly hungry. They could go in any place to get food. I had to depend on them for my food. As soon as it got dark, they decided that it was time for them to eat. We came to this little town. We were lucky it had a small restaurant and a one pump gas station. They went in to eat and left me in the jeep. Still naked. A couple of the town’s drunks saw me sitting in the jeep naked. They staggered over to me. And since I didn't speak very good Spanish, I couldn't understand what they were saying. They started toward me. I was scared to death. I jumped out of.
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