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Realising it was probably best to just get this conversation out of the way I clutched the towel tightly against my body and walked to stand behind my sofa- having a piece of furniture between me and Max made me feel more secure, somehow. ‘I wanted to call you, but, I lost the card you gave me. I can’t have dinner with you tonight.’ I saw Max open his mouth to protest and so I rambled on quickly with my explanations. ‘You see, I had previously made plans with my friends for tonight which I cannot cancel and so I was going to call you and cancel our date, but, I couldn’t find your number and I’d forgotten that I had plans for tonight when you asked me for dinner because I really wasn’t thinking straight at that time at all and I didn’t remember till Kylie reminded me later that night and I opened the door just now thinking that Kylie had shown up early to pick me for our girl’s night out. So I’m sorry but I can’t have dinner with you.’ Sheesh! I closed my eyes, in embarrassment. I. As I dried my body and blow dried my hair I contemplated all of these questions and more. And, thankfully, I came to this conclusion: He loves me and wants what is best for me and for us as married partners. I may not agree with every single thing that he has done or all that’s been written or said, but the heart of it is this: He is for me, not against me, and would never harm me. He has brought such incredible pleasure to me in these days. I am finally going to embrace this gift of pleasure. I will dedicate myself to make him happy as well. It also crossed my mind, perhaps for the first time in my life, that if I didn’t begin to change I might lose him. He told me recently how hurtful it was when I constantly dismissed his sexual advances. Steve tends to hold back. It probably wasn’t just hurtful, it was probably crushing him and I was most likely pushing him further away from me. That was the last thing I wanted to happen. I figured I must learn to embrace his passion for me and.
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