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Now we're down to one flashlight and one lantern," Alice brushed loose strands of hair out of her eyes.Resisting the temptation to respond with a snappy comeback, I only muttered under my breath, "Thank you, Captain Obvious." What did you say?" I said we need to get something to eat. We're hungry and cranky." I picked up two military-style MREs."We have two choices. Chicken Pesto Pasta or Beef Ravioli. What's your pleasure?" Does one of them contain flashlight batteries?" Alice examined the MREs. "How about this one? Maybe it's a misprint. I'm sure they meant to say, Chicken Pesto and Battery Pasta." she said as she shook the MRE.I clenched my jaw and did a slow count to ten. "Alice, you've already plowed this field. Give it a rest." I zipped up my jacket and picked up the Rayovac lantern along with our survival saw as I crawled toward the tent opening."God damn it! Don't you walk out on me when I'm talking to you," Alice scolded as she wagged her finger at me like an angry mother.I. It has a mind of its own, sort of."Gabby unfastened the rope around his waist and dropped his burlap trousers far enough for Xena to see."Well, well. The little soldier is at attention." Xena! I can't help it." Oh, don't worry about it, Gabrielle. That's the way men are. Men are ridiculously potent. They're just producing sperm all the time. While you're standing there pretending to have a polite conversation with me you're actually producing sperm at an alarming rate."Gabby laughed. "Is it that obvious?"Xena smiled. "I wonder which of the Gods had to design that thing? And how did they know they were done? They should've worked at it a little longer."Gabby looked down. "Probably a committee." It looks like the last turkey in the shop. Still, not a bad size. Not huge, but nothing to be ashamed of." Well, that just makes me feel a whole lot better." Stop whining. Why don't you try it out? Do something with it."Gabby laughed again. "Xena, I'm not an elephant." Do that peeing standing.
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