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He looked at his watch, then said, "Sir, my shift ends in 30 minutes. Today is Friday. If you can give me a new reason for speeding -- a reason I've never before heard -- I'll let you go."The old gentleman paused then said: "Three years ago, my wife ran off with a Florida State Trooper. I thought you were bringing her back." Have a good day, Sir," replied the trooper.GeorgiaThe owner of a golf course in Georgia was confused about paying an invoice, so he decided to ask his secretary for some mathematical help.He called her into his office and said, "Y'all graduated from the University of Georgia, and I need some help. If I wuz to give yew $20,000, minus 14%, how much would you take off?"The secretary thought a moment, and then replied, "Everthang but my earrings."LouisianaA senior citizen in Louisiana was overheard saying... "When the end of the world comes, I hope to be in Louisiana..."When asked why, he replied, "I'd rather be in Louisiana 'cause everything happens in Louisiana 20. She had an air of sophistication, like cultivated antiquation. She was about eighteen years-old, around 5ft8, with fair light-brown hair, a thin face with perfect complexion, a little turned-up nose and bright-red lips. Aside from the red floppy hat, she was wearing a flimsy ankle-length floral-patterned summer dress and white sandals. It was a look that could have easily come the 1960’s, and yet it suited her very well. I was particularly impressed by the way her ample breasts stood out due to the strap of her bag which she had placed diagonally between them. She showed the piece of paper to one of the guards, who pointed her toward the front of the train. Unsurprisingly, based on my observations, she had been standing at the wrong section of the train, and had been ushered to first class. I watched her as she picked up her bags, turned briefly toward me and caught my eye. Our mutual gaze probably lasted less than two seconds, but it was enough for me to feel like I had been.
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