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He was still beating himself up for being such a coward about it all. Heknew Julie had wanted to get with him, why couldn't he just do it? Hehas had so many opportunities but he has chickened out of every one andhe hated himself for that. He reckoned he needed more confidence. Yes,that's what he needed.He went to the bar and ordered himself another pint of cider. He boughtdrinks for his friends and sat around the table for the next whileplaying drinking games. He didn't feel the transition between sobernessand drunkenness until he went to the toilet. He stood on the cubiclewith his hands on his head. His head was swimming and suddenly he feltas if he could do anything. A distant voice at the back of his head toldhim not to do anything hasty or stupid."I'm going to go out there and I'm going to tell Julie how I feel!" hemumbled to himself.He then left the bathrooms to go look for Julie. The loud music andtalking drained out his hearing and once again as he got back into thezone. His. But it can muffle the sound!Why do I have to press one for English when you’re just gonna transfer me to someone I can’t understand anyway?Of course I talk to myself, sometimes I need expert advice.This item is compliments of an Anonymous donor:A man was sitting on a blanket at the beach. He had no arms and no legs.Three women, an American, a Kiwi and a Australian Woman, were walking past and felt sorry for the poor man.The American woman said “Have you ever had a hug?”The man said “No,” so she gave him a hug and walked on.The Kiwi woman said, “Have you ever had a kiss?”The man said, “No,” so she gave him a kiss and walked on.The Australian woman came to him and said, “Have you ever been fucked?”The man broke into a big smile and said, “No.”She said, “You will be when the tide comes in.”A nurse walks into a room and sees a patient pretending he’s driving a truck, with his hands at 10 to 2.The nurse asks him, “Kenny! What are you doing?”Kenny replies, “Can’t talk right now I’m driving.
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