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I sit here in a shitty hotel room wondering for at least the bazillionth time where it all went wrong. The tiny blond bundle of fury, snoring on the other bed in this furnace-like room is after the same thing I am. Right now, we’re working together, but when we find it, I’d anticipate a brutal, bloody battle with no holds barred. She is the very definition of a frenemy.When we met, I hated her on sight. But for now, we need each other. This is how our little Shakespearian drama began.At thirty years old, I was just entering the sweet spot in my life. I’m married to the man of my dreams. I’m working in the career I chose, which is also the career I got my degree in ... and believe me there are lots of people nowadays who end up doing something they either don’t like, or just never thought about, just to make ends meet. It’s that kind of world, people.But back to me, I’m kind of hot, in a modern way. And I am begining to think that it’s time for me to give up the day job and give my. Like I said, weird weeds.But I've got another one.Biker chick.Woah, don't go, this isn't one of those scary old broads on the back of a hog.I'm talking hot chick on the back of a hog.What's the problem? you ask. Don't like leather?Actually, no. I don't think a girl in leather is attractive at all. It's thick, it doesn't move well, it hides curves, it doesn't breathe... Okay, it smells nice when it's taken care of, and a black leather trenchcoat is just about the coolest ever -- I'm still saving up for mine -- and a piece or two can look good as outerwear, but the whole leather outfit thing, no thanks. I cried when I saw Halle Berry in X-Men -- she looked like a dude. Besides, you ever try to peel leather pants off a hot biker chick? But I'm getting ahead of myself... So I'm not into the leather. But that's not the real problem with Misty. Misty -- the hot chick on the back of the hog.This hot chick on the back of a hog came with the requisite scary boyfriend. Big guy.Named Tank.Yeah,.
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